LOFTER-网易轻博

欧亚混血女儿的自白:对未来混血儿的父母说的话
lunter 2017-11-09

  一年半之前,我看到了"stuffeurasianslike"的博客。这是我这辈子第一次感觉到了,作为混血儿,有其他人和我的感觉一样。我感觉到了,做为欧亚混血,我应该是一个非常漂亮,聪明,而且应该被东西方都接受才对,我应该达到”漂亮混血儿”的标准,并得到双面认可。可是当我照镜子的时候,我只看到了一堆亚洲人和欧洲人混一起的不和谐的特征...我的长相我的身体,我的灵魂,都有问题......我很笨,我曾经被问过我是不是有学习能力障碍,我自己也怀疑过我自己很多次。我在高中的时候从来没有和男生交往过,我的初夜毁在了一个出租车司机手上。尽管母亲奋力的想让我成为一个钢琴家,但我总是弹不好。并不是我不用功不勤奋,只是我太笨了而且没有天赋。

  我感觉到东方和西方的圈子都拒绝我。我也是女孩,很多人都会觉得我会因为是混血儿而过的不如普通人好而感到惊讶,也许如果是个混血男孩过得不好,他们可能更能接受,但他们不能假设欧亚混血女儿也会这么想。毕竟,我们应该是性感,有异国风味的不是吗?!男人应该对我们亚洲娇小的身材加上欧美的曲线感到渴望,我们也应该拥有丝滑的亚洲人的头发和异族风味但并不“眯缝”的眼睛不是吗?!我感到我生来就被定义成了白人和其他非亚洲男人的妓女。欧亚混血(白男黄女)男孩被自己的父母的组合精神阉割。他从出生就感到被阉割,被弱化。欧亚混血女儿从出生就因为自己母亲的抉择而注定成为白人和其他非亚洲男人的玩物。我感觉我注定要成为精液容器。我并不归属于任何组织,我将永远难逃于一个没有同党帮助的女人,主动成为一个“异类”的荡妇。我喜欢亚洲男人,我对任何白男和其他族裔男人都不考虑,但这并不影响那些男人把我当成妓女,因为身为亚洲女人我就应该很容易上似得。

  自从我11岁那年起,我看清了事实。我那愚蠢的父亲决定和我坐下谈谈,说我已经长成了漂亮的女孩,并告诉我我只能和白男交往。当我问他为什么的时候,他说白人男最文明,不野蛮,而且只有白人男才能对我好,而我就是白人未来的精液容器。当我问他,我也有一半亚洲血统,可以找亚洲男人不,他简单的告诉我“不可以”。当我弟弟长大的时候,父亲的种族主义又一次让我看清了。父亲开始让我弟弟去找亚洲女人,甚至给他介绍亚洲女人(我不知道他怎么认识的那些亚洲女人,我也不想知道)。他也经常给亚洲女人加上“乌黑头发”,“娇小”的表情。所以,从白男黄女的父母眼里,我弟弟应该找个亚洲女人,而我应该找一个白男。

  你可以恨我,可以不同意我,但是我知道,白男黄女的组合并不是因为爱情无国界或者是超越了种族主义,而相反,正是因为严重的种族主义才造就了白男黄女的跨种族联姻。白男黄女并不代表“爱情无边界”,或者是反对种族主义的荣誉。他们未来的孩子并不是两个种族沟通的桥梁,也不聪明,不漂亮。我很乐意的说:我(欧亚混血儿)是个基因垃圾。我希望有一天,我可以在白男黄女的面前明确的告诉他们这些,但是我太胆小,不敢....  

翻译:http://bbs.tianya.cn/post-funinfo-6316550-1.shtml


To future parents of eurasian children, from your eurasian daughter

About a year and a half ago I came across the blog  “stuffeurasianslike” . For the first time in my life I felt that  there was somebody else out there who felt the way I did about being  eurasian. I felt, as an eurasian person that I was supposed to live up  to this mythified life of being extremely attractive, smart and accepted  by both Asians and Caucasians. That I was supposed to live up to the”  eurasian beauty” and the “best of both worlds” myths. Instead, when I  look in the mirror I see a jumble of asian and caucasian features that  don’t synchronize with eachother….something is wrong with my face, my  body, my soul…… I am a slow thinker, I have been asked if I suffer from a  learning disability before and I have wondered it myself many times.I  never had a date in highschool and I lost my virginity to a taxi driver  who took advantage of me.Despite my mother’s best efforts to turn me  into a piano virtuoso, I suck at it. and it’s not as if I was lazy and  didn’t practice. I’m just simply stupid and talentless.

I feel rejected from both my Asian and Caucasian cultures. I am also  female. I feel many people, though shocked by the idea that a eurasian  may lead less than a charmed life are able to swallow the fact that a  male might feel that way a little easier. But they can’t possibly  conceive that a female eurasian may feel this way. Afterall, we’re all  supposed to be hot, exotic import models aren’t we?! Men are supposed to  lust after our petite Asian bodies with just the right amount of  non-asian curves and we all are supposed to have beautiful silky asian  hair and exotic almond shaped but not “chinky” eyes right?! I feel I was  groomed from birth, had it written from birth to be a prostitute to  white and other non asian men. The eurasian son of asian female/white  male couplings feels emasculated by his parents union. He feels  emasculated at birth, he feels doomed to live stripped of his  masculinity . The eurasian female is doomed from birth to be a  prostitute to white and other non Asian men as a result of her mother’s  poor choice. I feel I was doomed to be a semen receptacle. I do not  belong to any “in group” I am forever doomed to be a woman without  brethren to back her. Forever doomed to be an “othered” slut.I prefer  asian men. I steer clear of White and other non asian men in my dating  choices. but that doesn’t insulate me from the perceptions others have  of me that I’ m a little half Asian prostitute.

It all became so clear to me at age 11. when my goofy whitefather  decided to sit me down and have a chat with me about “what a beautiful  young woman I was turning into” . He went on to tell me that I was only  to date white men. When I asked him why, he told me that white men were  “more civilized” and would be the only men capable of taking care of me,  his little future semen receptacle princess. I asked him if Asian men  were okay since I was half asian. He simply answered “no”. His racism  became even more clear to me when my younger brother became of dating  age and my father started pushing him towards asian girls and setting  him up with young asian women (who I have no clue how the heck he met,  nor do I want to know) who he would often assign descriptors such as  “silky raven hair” and “petite” to. So it was written, my brother was  supposed to end up with an asian woman, and I was supposed to end up  with a white dood.

Hate me or disagree with me all you want but I know that asian  female/white male couples don’t exist in spite of racism but instead  occur because of racism. They are not indicators of how “love is  colourblind” or triumphant displays against racism. The future children  are not “bridges” nor are we for the most part particularily beautiful  or intelligent. I am proud to proclaim I am genetic garbage. I hope one  day to proclaim this to the next smug faced asian female/white male  couple I see. But I’m a coward so…..


推荐文章
评论(0)
联系我们|招贤纳士|移动客户端|风格模板|官方博客
网易公司版权所有 ©1997-2020 浙公网安备 33010802010186号浙ICP备16011220号-11增值电信业务经营许可证:浙B2-20160599
网络文化经营许可证: 浙网文[2019]3904-370号自营经营者信息工业和信息化部备案管理系统网站
分享到
转载我的主页