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同性电影

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三爷

Moonlight (2016) dir. Barry Jenkins

Moonlight (2016) dir. Barry Jenkins

任池

同性题材电影不完全推荐

BL


必看经典(不做解释):

《霸王别姬》

《春光乍泻》

《蓝宇》

《断背山》

《call me by your name》


有颜可舔:

《我自己的爱达荷》

👉黑客帝国男主× 绝世神颜凤凰河

拍这个时两个人都是最好的年纪,简直颜狗狂欢 

《王尔德情人》

👉没秃的裘花大家还不来舔吗???又美又贵气 波西转世

王尔德在自深深处里写了他和波西的感情经历,真情实感令人唏嘘,捆绑安利了

《单身男子》

👉脸叔×马修×小尼子 

这个配置宇宙超级无敌

《莫里斯》

👉我要溺死在休格兰特的眼神里了好吗?...

BL


必看经典(不做解释):

《霸王别姬》

《春光乍泻》

《蓝宇》

《断背山》

《call me by your name》


有颜可舔:

《我自己的爱达荷》

👉黑客帝国男主× 绝世神颜凤凰河

拍这个时两个人都是最好的年纪,简直颜狗狂欢 

《王尔德情人》

👉没秃的裘花大家还不来舔吗???又美又贵气 波西转世

王尔德在自深深处里写了他和波西的感情经历,真情实感令人唏嘘,捆绑安利了

《单身男子》

👉脸叔×马修×小尼子 

这个配置宇宙超级无敌

《莫里斯》

👉我要溺死在休格兰特的眼神里了好吗?

神夏剧组的警花出没!年轻时真的超嫩超可爱

《天鹅绒金矿》

👉摇滚 盛世美颜 颠倒众生

《心之全蚀》

👉小李子的颜值巅峰 卢平教授倾情出演

讲述了诗人兰波和魏尔伦的故事

顺便安利他们两人的诗~

不看错亿

《杀死汝爱》

👉同样是诗人的故事 

小妖精戴涵涵 × 麻瓜版哈利波特(划掉)

影片介绍了美国“垮掉的一代”和颓废主义文学

非常值得一看

《迷恋荷尔蒙》

👉性感佩佩在线女装

《美少年之恋》

👉冯德伦 × 吴彦祖 

题目就已经很直白了不是吗?

《战场上的圣诞快乐》

👉神曲Merry Christmas Mr.Lawrence出处

坂本一龙,大卫鲍伊

《故园风雨后》

👉本卫肖×马修

场景美 人也美

《云图》

👉虽然同性只是其中一部分,但故事好,虐 

本卫肖粉丝滤镜八尺厚的我


小众,社会现实:

《春风沉醉的夜晚》

👉秦昊,陈思诚,谭卓

个人很喜欢郁达夫的那句话所以推荐了,碰巧它还是在南京拍的

《孽子》

👉白先勇先生的书更好看 

“晚风吻尽荷花叶,任我醉倒在池边”




未完待续

一二度

影片 《当我们17岁》 法国

“我想知道我究竟是喜欢男人还是只喜欢你”

这部电影让人感觉是那种仇人变情人的耽美小说被影视化了。

达米安是家境优渥,学习成绩好的学霸,汤姆是被领养的小孩,要兼顾家里的农活,成绩不算好的小孩。两人是同学,可是两人看对方不顺眼,经常有矛盾。

在机缘巧合下,达米安的妈妈让汤姆寄居在自己家。

两人争吵,打架,渐渐打出了火花,达米安发现自己的感情,慢慢试探,可是汤姆这时是害怕的,后来达米安的爸爸在战争中牺牲,汤姆陪着这母子一起度过难过的时光,两人在困难中越走越近,最后就是Happy Ending啦。

17岁的青春是烦恼的。

达米安喜欢上了汤...

影片 《当我们17岁》 法国

“我想知道我究竟是喜欢男人还是只喜欢你”

这部电影让人感觉是那种仇人变情人的耽美小说被影视化了。

达米安是家境优渥,学习成绩好的学霸,汤姆是被领养的小孩,要兼顾家里的农活,成绩不算好的小孩。两人是同学,可是两人看对方不顺眼,经常有矛盾。

在机缘巧合下,达米安的妈妈让汤姆寄居在自己家。

两人争吵,打架,渐渐打出了火花,达米安发现自己的感情,慢慢试探,可是汤姆这时是害怕的,后来达米安的爸爸在战争中牺牲,汤姆陪着这母子一起度过难过的时光,两人在困难中越走越近,最后就是Happy Ending啦。

17岁的青春是烦恼的。

达米安喜欢上了汤姆,对自身性向的疑惑,家庭突生变故,觉得汤姆对自己的好只是同情,面对爱情时充满不自信。

汤姆是被收养的小孩,家里条件不是很好,学习成绩也不是很好,妈妈怀孕了他内心充满了不安,压抑自己对达米安的感觉。

可是17岁的青春也是可爱的。

达米安想确认自己的感情,在网上约了一个男人,居然让汤姆送自己去见他。达米安发现自己不想和那个男人接触,可是汤姆却对人家的自动化农场感兴趣,和那个男人聊起来了,轮到自己在一边等。

汤姆手受伤,达米安帮他擦手,两个人之间那个暧昧流动,眼神火花满分,擦着擦着就动嘴了,从轻轻的吻到激动的吻。可惜这时汤姆害怕了,把达米安推远了。

两个人一起做题讨论,达米安解释柏拉图的观点时,充满了对汤姆的试探,汤姆一说他烦,他就说是必修内容,把人弄得心痒痒。

达米安妈妈也是个助攻,让汤姆来家里住,努力解决两人的矛盾,不反对达米安对汤姆的感情,让达米安有自信去面对爱情。

最后汤姆在山上用力奔跑,跑向达米安,两人深情一吻,真是美好的青春啊。

多说一句,有床戏,全裸,互攻。

淮准Leslie

【CMBYN-中英对照】自原著探寻电影背后的暗潮汹涌(2)

以下为书的第二part,第一在:(1)


*自译。这一次的意译就比上一次要多了……第二part应该是全书最长的一部分,我也选取了其中的很多内容,断断续续花了好几天才全部完成。有些句子因为过长,或是太涉及心理活动层面,流于意识,所以难度有点大,我按照理解尽可能地翻译,有误导或疏漏的地方,在此,还请谅解则个。


*每个摘录下面我都写有加粗的“P.S.”,第一是为了略作解释、帮助理解,第二是为了通过简短的加粗在段落间进行区分,希望不会影响到阅读体验……


原著分为四部分,以下摘自第二部分“Monet’s Berm(莫奈的崖径)


1.

With one hand on the handlebar...

以下为书的第二part,第一在:(1)


*自译。这一次的意译就比上一次要多了……第二part应该是全书最长的一部分,我也选取了其中的很多内容,断断续续花了好几天才全部完成。有些句子因为过长,或是太涉及心理活动层面,流于意识,所以难度有点大,我按照理解尽可能地翻译,有误导或疏漏的地方,在此,还请谅解则个。


*每个摘录下面我都写有加粗的“P.S.”,第一是为了略作解释、帮助理解,第二是为了通过简短的加粗在段落间进行区分,希望不会影响到阅读体验……


原著分为四部分,以下摘自第二部分“Monet’s Berm(莫奈的崖径)


1.

With one hand on the handlebar he lifted his shirt and exposed a huge scrape and bruise on his left hip.

"Still gives me the creeps," I said, repeating my aunt's verdict.

"Just a lost soul, really."

I would have touched, caressed, worshipped that scrape.

他一手掌住车把,一手撩起衬衫下摆,露出左腰臀上大片的伤疤和淤痕。

“他还是会让我心里毛毛的。”我重复着阿姨的判断。

“只是个迷失的人,真的。”

本该由我来抚摸,爱抚,崇拜着那些伤痕。

(艾里奥嫉妒安卡斯为奥利弗上药。)


On our way, I noticed that Oliver was taking his time. He wasn't in his usual rush, no speeding, no scaling the hill with his usual athletic zeal. Nor did he seem in a rush to go back to his paperwork, or join his friends on the beach, or, as was usually the case, ditch me. 

Perhaps he had nothing better to do. This was my moment in heaven and, young as I was, I knew it wouldn't last and that I should at least enjoy it for what it was rather than ruin it with my oft-cranked resolution to firm up our friendship or take it to another plane. There'll never be a friendship, I thought, this is nothing, just a minute of grace. 

一路上,我注意到奥利弗并不赶时间。他不似往日那样匆忙,既没加速,也没在爬坡时展现出往常的精力充沛。他看起来也不像急着要去取回他的论文,或是加入到他朋友们的海滩聚会中,更没像以前一样,急于甩掉我。

可能是因为他没什么好做,但,这已是我的天堂时刻。年轻如我,也知道这样的好时候不会持续太久,我最好享受这一刻,而不是用我古怪的方式稳固我们的关系,妄图使之更上一层楼,最后却落个搞砸一切的下场。全然没有什么友谊,我认定,只是露水般的恩惠。

P.S.前往战争纪念碑的路上。


2.

"Is there anything you don't know?"

“就没有什么是你不知道的吗?”


I looked at him. This was my moment. I could seize it or I could lose it, but either way I knew I would never live it down. Or I could gloat over his compliment—but live to regret everything else. This was probably the first time in my life that I spoke to an adult without planning some of what I was going to say. I was too nervous to plan anything.

我看向他。我知道我的机会来了,我可以抓住它,或是让它溜走,但我知道我永远不会忘记这一刻。我可以对他的恭维回以洋洋自得——但后悔其他的一切。这可能是我人生中第一次毫无准备地与一个成年人深入交谈,我太过紧张,以致于没有任何主意。


"I know nothing, Oliver. Nothing, just nothing."

"You know more than anyone around here."

“我什么也不知道,奥利弗,什么都不知道。”

“你比这儿的任何人知道的都多。”


Why was he returning my near-tragic tone with bland ego-boosting?

"If you only knew how little I know about the things that really matter."

他为什么要用那种乏味苍白的肯定来回应我近乎悲惨的心声?

“如果你能知道,我对真正重要的事情是多么知之甚少。”

P.S.战争纪念碑前的对话。我最喜欢的几个场景之一。


3.

He must have hit on something, though God knows what. Perhaps he was trying not to seem taken aback.

"What things that matter?"

Was he being disingenuous?

"You know what things. By now you of all people should know."

Silence.

他一定意识到了什么,谁知道呢?也许他在尝试着让自己看起来不那么惊讶。

“什么重要的事情?”

他在装傻吗?

“你知道是什么。这时候了,你明明是最明白的。”

沉默。


"Why are you telling me all this?"

"Because I thought you should know."

“你为什么告诉我这些?”

“因为我觉得你应该知道。”


"Because you thought I should know." He repeated my words slowly, trying to take in their full meaning, all the while sorting them out, playing for time by repeating the words. The iron, I knew, was burning hot.

“因为你觉得我该知道。”他慢慢重复我的话,似乎在整理头绪,咀嚼其中的含义,大概也是通过重复来拖延时间吧。我知道,铁已被燃烧得灼烫。


"Because I want you to know," I blurted out. "Because there is no one else I can say it to but you."

There, I had said it.

Was I making any sense?

I was about to interrupt and sidetrack the conversation by saying something about the sea and the weather tomorrow and whether it might be a good idea to sail out to E. as my father kept promising this time every year.

“因为我想让你知道!”我脱口而出。“因为除了你之外,我没有别人可以诉说。”

就这样,我说出来了。

我说的够清楚了吗?

我正准备打岔,聊聊海况或是明天的天气之类的来转移话题,又或许谈谈我爸爸每年这时候承诺要航行去E城的计划会是个好主意?


But to his credit he didn't let me loose.

"Do you know what you're saying?"

但幸好,他没有放过我。

“你知道你在说什么吗?”


This time I looked out to the sea and, with a vague and weary tone that was my last diversion, my last cover, my last getaway, said, "Yes, I know what I'm saying and you're not mistaking any of it. I'm just not very good at speaking. But you're welcome never to speak to me again."

这一次,我看向海,用一种模糊暧昧而无力的语调——作为我最后的转移、最后的掩盖、最后的逃避——说,“是,我完全明白我在说什么,你也没有任何误解。反正我不太擅长表达,你也大可不再跟我搭话。”


"Wait. Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

“等等,你说的,是我所想的那样吗?”


"Ye-es." Now that I had spilled the beans I could take on the laid-back, mildly exasperated air with which a felon, who's surrendered to the police, confesses yet once more to yet one more police officer how he robbed the store.

“是啊——”既然已经吐露心迹,我大可坦然一些,就像是被警察捉住围审的罪犯,在略微恼怒的氛围中一次又一次坦白我是如何抢劫商铺的。


"Wait for me here, I have to run upstairs and get some papers. Don't go away."

I looked at him with a confiding smile.

"You know very well I'm not going anywhere."

“在这儿等我一会,我要先上楼取论文,别走开。”

我看着他,自信地笑起来。

“你明明很清楚,我哪儿也不会去。”

P.S.“Because I wanted you to know.”


4.

"I wish I hadn't spoken," I finally said.

I knew as soon as I'd said it that I'd broken the exiguous spell between us.

"I'm going to pretend you never did."

Well, that was an approach I'd never expected from a man who was so okay with the world. I'd never heard such a sentence used in our house.

“就当我没说过。”我还是这样说了。

我知道我一旦说出口,就会打破我们之间少得可怜的羁绊。

“我打算假装你没说过。”

嗯,我倒是没料到一个随遇而安的人会选择这样做。我从没在我家听见类似的话。


"Does this mean we're on speaking terms—but not really?"

He thought about it.

"Look, we can't talk about such things. We really can't."

He slung his bag around him and we were off downhill.

“这是否意味着我们不再是泛泛之交——但也不尽然?”

他想了想。

“听着,我们不能讨论这种事,真的不能。”

他把背包甩上肩,我们开始下山。

P.S.奥利弗取回文件后,却是告诉艾里奥:我们不能谈论这种事。然后,艾里奥带着奥利弗去了他的秘密基地——那条河和那片草地。


5.

He was waiting for me to say something. He was staring at me.

This, I think, is the first time I dared myself to stare back at him. Usually, I'd cast a glance and then look away—look away because I didn't want to swim in the lovely, clear pool of his eyes unless I'd been invited to—and I never waited long enough to know whether I was even wanted there; look away because I was too scared to stare anyone back; look away because I didn't want to give anything away; look away because I couldn't acknowledge how much he mattered. Look away because that steely gaze of his always reminded me of how tall he stood and how far below him I ranked. 

他在等着我说些什么,他在凝视我。

这次,我想,是我第一次敢直视着回应他的目光。通常,我会匆匆一瞥就移开眼——移开眼,因为我不想受邀而后沉浸在他可爱、明澈的双眸里——我也不会停留太久,来探寻我在他眼中是否被渴望;移开眼,因为我太害怕回望任何人;移开眼,因为我不想泄露内心;移开眼,因为我无法承认他到底有多重要。移开眼,因为他无情的目光总提醒着我,他是多么高高在上,而我又是如何远远屈于他下。


Now, in the silence of the moment, I stared back, not to defy him, or to show I wasn't shy any longer, but to surrender, to tell him this is who I am, this is who you are, this is what I want, there is nothing but truth between us now, and where there's truth there are no barriers, no shifty glances, and if nothing comes of this, let it never be said that either of us was unaware of what might happen. I hadn't a hope left. And maybe I stared back because there wasn't a thing to lose now. I stared back with the all-knowing, I-dare-you-to-kiss-me gaze of someone who both challenges and flees with one and the same gesture.

现在,这静默的时刻,我回望他。不是为了反抗他,或者显示我不再害羞,而是一种投降,告诉他:这就是我,这就是你,这就是我想要的,现在我们之间只有真实,这种真实没有阻碍,没有回避的目光,如果连这样都没有结果,就请永远别说你或是我意识不到将会发生什么。我不抱一丝希望。可能我敢回望过去,是因为现在也没什么好再失去的了。我以了然一切的眼神回望他,用一种挑战而又逃离的姿态,仿佛在说,“有种你就吻我啊”。

P.S.“凝视”“对视”之类的描写在书中出现过很多次。


6.

Each leaning on one arm, we both stared out at the view. "You're the luckiest kid in the world," he said. 

"You don't know the half of it."

I let him ponder my statement. Then, perhaps to fill the silence that was becoming unbearable, I blurted out, "So much of it is wrong, though."

我们撑着手肘,眺望风景。“你真是世上最幸运的人了,”他说。

“你根本不了解。”

我让他思索我的处境。接着,可能是为了填满即将变得难以忍受的沉默,我脱口道,“何况其中很多都是错的。”


"What? Your family?"

"That too."

"Living here all summer long, reading by yourself, meeting all those dinner drudges your father dredges up at every meal?" He was making fun of me again.

I smirked. No, that wasn't it either.

“你指什么?你的家庭吗?”

“包括那个。”

“还是说要住在这儿度过苦夏,一个人读书,应付所有你父亲准备的正餐苦差?”他又在调侃我。

我傻笑。才不,也不是指这个。


He paused a moment.

"Us, you mean."

I did not reply.

"Let's see, then—" And before I knew it, he sidled up to me.

他停顿了一瞬间。

“你指的是,我们。”

我没做声。

“那,来试试看吧——”在我意识到之前,他凑近了我。


We were too close, I thought, I'd never been so close to him except in a dream or when he cupped his hand to light my cigarette. If he brought his ear any closer he'd hear my heart. I'd seen it written in novels but never believed it until now.

我们离得太近了,除了在梦里,或是他拢手替我点烟时,我从未如此接近过他。倘若他再把耳朵挨近一点儿,就能听见我的心跳声。我曾把这个场景写进小说里,但直到此刻之前,我从不敢相信它会真实地发生。


He stared me right in the face, as though he liked my face and wished to study it and to linger on it, then he touched my nether lip with his finger and let it travel left and right and right and left again and again as I lay there, watching him smile in a way that made me fear anything might happen now and there'd be no turning back, that this was his way of asking, and here was my chance to say no or to say something and play for time, so that I might still debate the matter with myself, now that it had reached this point—

他直直盯着我的脸,就好像他喜欢我的样貌,想要研究它、在我脸上眷恋逗留。他的手指摸上了我的下嘴唇,从左抚摸至右,又从右边抚摸向左,一遍又一遍。我躺在草地上,看见他微笑起来,那笑容让我害怕起接下来会发生某种无法回头的事情。或许这正是他询问的方式,也是我仅有的拒绝或者说话以拖延时间的时机,这样一来,我还能与自己再拉锯个数回,但都到了这个节骨眼儿上了——


except that I didn't have any time left, because he brought his lips to my mouth, a warm, conciliatory, I'll-meet-you-halfway-but-no-further kiss till he realized how famished mine was. I wished I knew how to calibrate my kiss the way he did. But passion allows us to hide more, and at that moment on Monet's berm, if I wished to hide everything about me in this kiss, I was also desperate to forget the kiss by losing myself in it.

我没时间了。因为他的唇已经印上了我的唇,一个温暖的、安抚的、“我会迎合你但绝不深入”的吻,直到他意识到我是多么饥渴。我真希望我能像他一样克制自己的吻,不过热情允许我们隐藏得更多。在那时、于莫奈的崖径上,如果我希望在这个吻里隐匿起有关我的一切,其实我只是渴望迷失在这个吻里,好能将它忘记。

P.S.草地上的kiss。


7.

"Better now?" he asked afterward.

I did not answer but lifted my face to his and kissed him again, almost savagely, not because I was filled with passion or even because his kiss still lacked the zeal I was looking for, but because I was not so sure our kiss had convinced me of anything about myself. I was not even sure I had enjoyed it as much as I'd expected and needed to test it again, so that even in the act itself, I needed to test the test.

“好点了吗?”事后他问。

我没回答,只是冲他抬起脸,又一次吻上他,近乎野蛮。这不是因为我充满热情,也不是因为他的吻里缺乏我需求的激情,而是因为我不确定我们的吻能使我取信自己,我甚至也不确定我是否如想象一般享受那个吻,所以我需要再试一次,即使行动本身已是答案,我也需要再试一试。

P.S.艾里奥kissed back。


8.

When, finally, I lifted one knee and moved it toward him to face him, I knew I had broken the spell.

"I think we should go."

"Not yet."

"We can't do this—I know myself. So far we've behaved. We've been good. Neither of us has done anything to feel ashamed of. Let's keep it that way. I want to be good."

"Don't be. I don't care. Who is to know?"

当最终,我抬起一边膝盖向他翻过身时,我知道我打破这个魔咒了。

“我想我们该走了。”

“不是现在。”

“我们不能这么做——我了解我自己。迄今为止我们是规矩的,我们做得很好,我们俩中的任何一个都还没做出理应羞愧的事。保持这样就好,我不想要失控。”


In a desperate move which I knew I'd never live down if he did not relent, I reached for him and let my hand rest on his crotch. He did not move. I should have slipped my hand straight into his shorts. He must have read my intention and, with total composure, bordering on a gesture that was very gentle but also quite glacial, brought his hand there and let it rest on mine for a second, then, twining his fingers into mine, lifted my hand.

A moment of unbearable silence settled between us.

"Did I offend you?"

"Just don't."

我孤注一掷,将手伸向他的裤裆。我知道,如果他不肯大发慈悲地放过我,我将永远不会忘记这个“理应羞愧”的动作。他确也没有动。早知道我就该把手直接滑进他的短裤里。他一定读出了我的意图,接着,带着全然的冷静,他以一种温和,同时也十分冰冷的姿态,将他的手覆盖在了我的手上,手指与手指交缠着,他移开了我。

难以忍受的静默在我们之间降临。

“我冒犯到你了吗?”

“别这么做就好。”


9.

The light of my eyes, I said, light of my eyes, light of the world, that's what you are, light of my life. I didn't know what light of my eyes meant, and part of me wondered where on earth had I fished out such claptrap, but it was nonsense like this that brought tears now, tears I wished to drown in his pillow, soak in his bathing suit, tears I wanted him to touch with the tip of his tongue and make sorrow go away.

我眼里的光。我眼里的光,世界的光,就是你,你就是我的生命之光。我不明白“我眼里的光”是什么意思,也不明白我究竟从哪儿来的这种花言巧语,它就是毫无意义,却还是能让我掉眼泪。我想把眼泪落在他的枕头上,浸湿他的短裤,我希望他能用舌尖吻落我的眼泪,为我赶走所有的悲伤。

P.S.艾里奥流鼻血后(奥利弗在桌子下用脚爱抚他所致)的心理活动。奥利弗没有像电影中一样吻他的脚背,而我恰好非常喜欢电影中亲吻脚背的细节。


10.

I tore out a sheet of paper from a school notebook.

Please don't avoid me.

Then I rewrote it:

Please don't avoid me. It kills me.

Which I rewrote:

Your silence is killing me.

Way over the top.

Can't stand thinking you hate me.

Too plangent. No, make it less lachrymose, but keep the trite death speech.

I'd sooner die than know you hate me.

At the last minute I came back to the original.

Can't stand the silence. I need to speak to you.

我从学校笔记本里撕下一页纸。

请不要躲着我。

接着我重写了一张:请不要躲着我。这几乎将我杀死。

我又重写道:

你的沉默正在侵蚀我。

太夸张了。

无法忍受你会恨我的念头。

太悲哀。不,别弄得这么煽情,但老掉牙的寻死觅活要保留。

知道你恨我,我即刻便要死去。

到了最后一刻,我还是回到最初的一版。

我受不了沉默了,我要和你谈谈。


11.

"We haven't talked," he said.

I shrugged my shoulders, meaning, No need to.

He lifted my face with both hands and stared at me as we had done that day on the berm, this time even more intensely because both of us knew we'd already crossed the bar. "Can I kiss you?" What a question, coming after our kiss on the berm! Or had we wiped the slate clean and were starting all over again?

I did not give him an answer. Without nodding, I had already brought my mouth to his, just as I'd kissed Marzia the night before. Something unexpected seemed to clear away between us, and, for a second, it seemed there was absolutely no difference in age between us, just two men kissing, and even this seemed to dissolve, as I began to feel we were not even two men, just two beings. I loved the egalitarianism of the moment. I loved feeling younger and older, human to human, man to man, Jew to Jew. 

“我们还没谈。”他说。

我耸了耸肩,意思是,没必要了。

他用双手抬起我的脸,凝视我,就像那天在莫奈的崖径上一般。甚至这一次更激烈,因为我们知道彼此都已突破障碍。“我可以吻你吗?”真是个好问题!在我们已经经历过崖径一吻之后。我们是不是把往事一笔勾销,准备重新开始了呢?

我没有做出回答。未经首肯,我已经将嘴唇贴上了他的唇,就像那晚我亲吻玛琪雅那样。一些没有预料到的东西似乎在我们之间变得清晰了,这一瞬,我们之间没有年龄差异,只是两个接吻的男人,甚至连这也消失了,我开始觉得我们不是两个男人,只是两个存在。我爱这一刻的平等,我爱这既年轻又年老的感觉,人对人,男人对男人,犹太人对犹太人。

P.S.那天晚上,他们第一次发生了亲密关系,书里写得细致而隐晦,我就不再摘取那部分了,止于此瞬间已然最美妙。关系发生之后,艾里奥的心理活动相当长,且相当复杂,我试图删删减减节选部分上来,最终还是因无法挑选恰当的部分、要么不取要么全取而放弃了。我简要分析一下:艾里奥得偿所愿终于同奥利弗发生关系以后,反而变得有点懊恼、冷淡了。一方面他太年轻了,此前所有的举动基本都是欲望在推波助澜,此刻的感觉,借用王尔德的一句话:世界上有两种悲剧,一种是没得到,一种是得到了。另一方面,可能就包含很多复杂的部分,例如艾里奥既快且痛的陌生感觉、艾里奥不确定自己到底是喜欢奥利弗,还是仅仅只对他抱有欲望、以及奥利弗不日将要离开的事实……


12.

"I had to see you," I said as I rushed to him. "Why, something wrong?" "I just had to see you." "Aren't you sick of me?" I thought I was—I was about to say—and I wanted to be—"I just wanted to be with you," I said. Then it hit me: "If you want, I'll go back now," I said. He stood still, dropped his hand with the bundle of unsent letters still in it, and simply stood there staring at me, shaking his head. "Do you have any idea how glad I am we slept together?"

“我必须来见你。”我说着,冲向他。

“怎么了,有什么问题吗?”

“我只是想见见你。”

“你不嫌恶我吗?”

我觉得我是,并且希望我如此……我本打算这么说。“我只是想和你待在一块儿。”接着我意识到:“如果你想,我会立刻回去。”——我说道。

他站着不动,垂下手,手里还拿着一叠没寄的信,他只是站在那儿、盯着我,摇了摇头。“你知道我有多开心我们睡过了吗?”


I shrugged my shoulders as though to put away another compliment. I was unworthy of compliments, most of all coming from him. "I don't know."

"It would be just like you not to know. I just don't want to regret any of it—including what you wouldn't let me talk about this morning. I just dread the thought of having messed you up. I don't want either of us to have to pay one way or another."

I knew exactly what he was referring to but pretended otherwise. "I'm not telling anyone. There won't be any trouble."

"I didn't mean that. I'm sure I'll pay for it somehow, though." And for the first time in daylight I caught a glimpse of a different Oliver. "For you, however you think of it, it's still fun and games, which it should be. For me it's something else which I haven't figured out, and the fact that I can't scares me."

我耸耸肩,像是收起又一个恭维。我根本不值得,尤其在大部分恭维来自他的情况下。“我不知道。”

“‘不知道’真像是你的风格。我只是不想后悔——包括今早你不让我谈论的那些。我也害怕会伤害你,我不想我们中的任何一个为此付出代价。”

我很清楚他指的是什么,但我假装不懂。“我谁也没告诉,不会有事儿的。”

“我说的不是这个。尽管我确定我终归会以某种形式付出代价。”这是我第一次在白天瞥见一个不一样的奥利弗。“对你来说,无论你怎么想,你始终把这当成乐趣和游戏,它也确实是。但对我来说,却是些我根本搞不明白的东西,这个事实令我感到恐惧。”


"Are you sorry I came?" Was I being intentionally fatuous?

"I'd hold you and kiss you if I could."

"Me too."

I came up to his ear as he was just about to enter the post office and whispered, "Fuck me, Elio."

He remembered and instantly moaned his own name three times, as we'd done during that night. I could feel myself already getting hard. Then, to tease him with the very same words he'd uttered earlier that morning, I said, "We'll save it for later."

“你不高兴我来这儿找你吗?”我在故意装糊涂吗?

“如果可以的话,我会拥抱你、吻你。”

“我也一样。”

在他快走进邮局前我凑近他的耳朵,轻声说,“CAO我,艾里奥。”

他记得,并且立刻吟叹着念了三遍他自己的名字,正如我们那晚所做的。我感觉我已经硬了。接着,为了用他那天早上的话戏弄回去,我说:“我们回头再说!”

P.S.顺接11之后、12之前,其实还有一件事我没摘进来2333奥利弗察觉到艾里奥的冷淡之后,第二天早上,他走进艾里奥的房间,没有任何前言,为艾里奥口。而奥利弗一碰到艾里奥时,艾里奥就硬了。所以,我觉得,是身体的信号告诉艾里奥他内心的真实感受23333所以奥利弗进城后,他迫不及待地追出来了。以及这里也点题啦,“用你的名字呼唤我”。


13.

I awoke to the sound of someone unhooking the latch of the shutters and then hooking it back behind him. As in my dream once, he was tiptoeing toward me, not in an effort to surprise me, but so as not to wake me up. I knew it was Oliver and, with my eyes still closed, raised my arm to him. He grabbed it and kissed it, then lifted the sheet and seemed surprised to find me naked.

He immediately brought his lips to where they'd promised to return this morning. He loved the sticky taste. What had I done?

I told him and pointed to the bruised evidence sitting on my desk.

有人打开了百叶窗的栓,进来后又重新拴好,我被那动静吵醒了。曾有一次在我的梦里,他踮着脚向我走近,不是为了给我惊喜,而是不想吵醒我。我知道是奥利弗,我闭着眼睛,朝他伸出手臂。他抓住我并吻了上来。掀开床单的时候,他似乎很惊讶我裸着。

他立即把嘴唇放上了今早承诺会回归的地方。他爱那黏糊糊的味道。我到底做了些什么?

我指着桌子上带有擦痕的证据告诉了他。


"Let me see."

He stood up and asked if I'd left it for him. Perhaps I had. Or had I simply put off thinking how to dispose of it?

"Is this what I think it is?"

I nodded naughtily in mock shame.

"Any idea how much work Anchise puts into each one of these?"

He was joking, but it felt as though he, or someone through him, was asking the same question about the work my parents had put into me.

“我看看。”

他站起身,问我这是不是留给他的。可能吧。或者我只是想摆脱再去想怎么处置它?

“这个是我想的那样吗?”

伴随着虚假的羞耻,我顽皮地点点头。

“你知道安卡斯为收获每一颗桃子花了多少心血吗?”

他在开玩笑,但感觉就像是他,或者别的什么人在透过他问我,是否知道我的父母在栽培我这一事上花了多少心力。


He brought the half peach to bed, making certain not to spill its contents as he took his clothes off.

"I'm sick, aren't I?" I asked.

"No, you're not sick—I wish everyone were as sick as you. Want to see sick?"

What was he up to? I hesitated to say yes.

他带着半颗桃子上床,确保他在脱衣服的时候桃子里的东西不会洒出来。

“我有病,对不对?”我问他。

“不,你没有——我希望每个人都像你一样病态,你想见识什么是真正的病态吗?”

他想干什么?我犹犹豫豫地说,想。


"Just think of the number of people who've come before you—you, your grandfather, your great-great-grandfather, and all the skipped generations of Elios before you, and those from places far away, all squeezed into this trickle that makes you who you are. Now may I taste it?"

I shook my head.

He dipped a finger into the core of the peach and brought it to his mouth.

"Please don't." This was more than I could bear.

"I never could stand my own. But this is yours. Please explain."

"It makes me feel terrible."

“只要想想你祖辈中在你之前的人——你,你的祖父,你的曾曾祖父,以及世世代代所有略过的艾里奥,还有那些来自远方的人,他们都涌进在这涓涓细流,把你造就成如今的你。现在,我能尝尝了吗?”

我摇头。

他一根手指伸进了桃子深处,将它递到嘴边。

“请你别……”这是我能说出的极限了。

“我从忍受不了我的。但这是你的。你还有什么要解释吗?”

“这让我感觉很糟糕……”


He simply shrugged my comment away.

"Look, you don't have to do this. I'm the one who came after you, I sought you out, everything that happened is because of me—you don't have to do this."

"Nonsense. I wanted you from day one. I just hid it better."

"Sure!"

I lunged out to grab the fruit from his hand, but with his other hand he caught hold of my wrist and squeezed it hard, as they do in movies, when one man forces another to let go of a knife.

"You're hurting me."

"Then let go."

I watched him put the peach in his mouth and slowly begin to eat it, staring at me so intensely that I thought even lovemaking didn't go so far.

他把我的评论置之脑后。

“真的,你不用这么做。我才是那个追求你的人,是我找上了你,所有发生的一切都是因为我的缘故——你根本不用这么做。”

“胡说。我从第一天就想要你,只是我藏得更好。”

“是是!”

我猛冲过去想把水果从他手里夺回来,但他用另一只手控住我的手腕,紧紧攥住,就像电影里演的:一个人强迫另一个人放下手里的刀子。

“你弄痛我了!”

“那你就放手。”

我就这么看着他把桃子放进嘴里,慢慢吃起来,他的目光牢牢地锁定我——做爱也不过如此了,我想。


"If you just want to spit it out, it's okay, it's really okay, I promise I won't be offended," I said to break the silence more than as a last plea.

“如果你想吐出来也没关系,真的没关系,我保证我绝不会感到受冒犯。”与其说是最后的恳求,不如说是我想打破这时的沉默。


He shook his head. I could tell he was tasting it at that very instant. Something that was mine was in his mouth, more his than mine now. I don't know what happened to me at that moment as I kept staring at him, but suddenly I had a fierce urge to cry. And rather than fight it, as with orgasm, I simply let myself go, if only to show him something equally private about me as well.

他摇摇头。我能判断出那一瞬间他在认真品尝。我身体中的某样东西正在他嘴里,现在,也许应该说是他的东西了。我不知道那刻我一直盯着他时,到底是怎么了,但我突然有强烈想哭的冲动。我没有抵抗,而是伴随着高潮,放任自己哭了,我就想给他看看我同样私密的一面。


I reached for him and muffled my sobs against his shoulder. I was crying because no stranger had ever been so kind or gone so far for me, even Anchise, who had cut open my foot once and sucked and spat out and sucked and spat out the scorpion's venom. I was crying because I'd never known so much gratitude and there was no other way to show it. And I was crying for the evil thoughts I'd nursed against him this morning. And for last night as well, because, for better or worse, I'd never be able to undo it, and now was as good a time as any to show him that he was right, that this wasn't easy, that fun and games had a way of skidding off course and that if we had rushed into things it was too late to step back from them now—crying because something was happening, and I had no idea what it was.

我向他挨过去,靠在他的肩上以便藏匿我的抽泣声。我在哭,因为从不曾有哪个陌生人对我这样好,为我做到此等地步,即使是安卡斯也没有(他曾割开我的脚,为我吸出蝎子的毒液)。我在哭,因为我从未有过如此深厚的感激之情,同时又没办法表达出来。我哭,也因为今天早上我竟对他怀有恶意。也是为了昨夜,因为,无论结果好坏,我都无法撤销已做下的事,现在是个好时机了:告诉他他是对的;这一切都不容易;乐趣和游戏也会脱离正轨;我们已然因太迟,无法从其中抽身而退——我哭了,因为有些事正在发生,可我完全不知道是什么样的事。


"Whatever happens between us, Elio, I just want you to know. Don't ever say you didn't know." He was still chewing. In the heat of passion it would have been one thing. But this was quite another. He was taking me away with him.

“无论我们之间发生什么,艾里奥,我只是想让你知道。不要再说你不知道了。”他仍在咀嚼。因激情的催化所致是一回事,但这次是另一回事。他要把我带走了。


His words made no sense. But I knew exactly what they meant.

I rubbed his face with my palm. Then, without knowing why, I began to lick his eyelids.

"Kiss me now, before it's totally gone," I said. His mouth would taste of peaches and me.

他的话讲不通,可我明白他的意思。

我用手掌摩挲他的脸,接着,也不知道为什么,我吻上他的眼睑。

“现在,吻我,在余味彻底消失之前。”我说着。他的唇尝到了桃子和我的味道。

P.S.翻译了这么多……跪求不会和谐呜呜呜。


14.

"I was waiting for you," I said.

"I thought you'd gone to sleep. I even thought you didn't want to."

"No. Waiting. I just turned the lights off."

I looked up to our house. The window shutters were all closed. I bent down and kissed him on his neck. It was the first time I had kissed him with feeling, not just desire. He put his arm around me. Harmless, if anyone saw.

"What were you doing?" I asked.

"Thinking."

"About?"

"Things. Going back to the States. The courses I have to teach this fall. The book. You." "Me?"

"Me?" He was mimicking my modesty. "No one else?"

"No one else." He was silent for a while. "I come here every night and just sit here. Sometimes I spend hours."

"All by yourself?"

He nodded.

"I never knew. I thought—"

"I know what you thought."

The news couldn't have made me happier. It had obviously been shadowing everything between us. I decided not to press the matter.

"This spot is probably what I'll miss the most." Then, upon reflection: "I've been happy in B."

It sounded like a preamble to farewells.

“我在等你。”我说。

“我以为你睡了,我甚至以为你不想。”

“不,我一直在等,我只是把灯关了。”

我抬头看着我们的房子,所有的窗户栓都关上了。我弯下腰亲吻他的脖子,这是我第一次带着感情,而不只是欲望地去亲吻他。他展臂环住我。就算这时候有人看见,也都没关系了。

“你在干嘛?”我问他。

“想事情。”

“想些什么?”

“很多。回美国。今秋我要教授的课程。书。你。”

“我?”

“我?”他模仿着我的谦恭。

“没别人了吗?”

“没有别人。”他沉默了一会儿,“我每晚都会来这边坐坐,有时一呆就是几个钟头。”

“就你一个人?”

他点头。

“我都不知道。我原以为——”

“我知道你怎么想。”

没有令我更快乐的消息了。这个谜曾经在我们之间横亘下阴影,但现在我决定不再追究了。

“这里大概是我以后最想念的地方了。”然后,他想了想,又道:“我在B城过得很开心。”

听起来就像是离别的序言。

P.S.艾里奥原以为奥利弗每晚出去是和别人sleep,其实奥利弗只是在外面坐坐、吹吹风、想想事情。


15.

"When did you know about me?" I asked him one day. I was hoping he'd say, When I squeezed your shoulder and you almost wilted in my arms. Or, When you got wet under your bathing suit that one afternoon when we chatted in your room. Something along those lines. "When you blushed," he said. 

“你什么时候察觉的?”有一天我问他。原本我希望他会说,“当我揉捏你的肩而你几乎在我臂弯里枯萎的时候”,或者“我们在你房里说着话,我发现你泳裤湿了的那个下午”之类的。

“你脸红的时候。”他说。

P.S.艾里奥脸红的时候,他们在翻译莱奥帕尔迪的《致月亮》。原诗译文(钱鸿嘉译)的最后几句摘录如下:

唉,青年时代该多么欢畅,

那时我满怀憧憬和希望,

而回忆的历程却不长。

往事的回忆固然令人悲伤,

而痛苦却天久地长!


He must have known exactly what I was feeling. What made me blush in the end was not the natural embarrassment of the moment when I could tell he'd caught me trying to hold his gaze only then to let mine scamper to safety; what made me blush was the thrilling possibility, unbelievable as I wanted it to remain, that he might actually like me, and that he liked me in just the way I liked him.

For weeks I had mistaken his stare for barefaced hostility. I was wide of the mark. It was simply a shy man's way of holding someone else's gaze.

We were, it finally dawned on me, the two shyest persons in the world.

他一定明白我的感觉。最终令我脸红的,不是我努力想与他对视,被他发现后又惊惶逃开的尴尬时刻,而是令我为之震颤、不可置信却又希冀如此的可能性——他喜欢我,就像我喜欢他那样,他喜欢着我。

一连好多周,我都误以为他的凝视出自露骨的敌意。我实在错得离谱。那只不过是一个害羞的男人凝视他人的方式。

我终于意识到——我们简直是世界上最害羞的两个人。

P.S.揭开谜底啦!为什么“凝视”在文中那么重要?因为他们俩是世界上最害羞的两个人哪!艾里奥以为奥利弗的视线是带有敌意的,崖径一吻前从未敢直视过他,其实艾里奥是害羞;而奥利弗的凝视看似冷淡,其实也不过是因为害羞而裹上的伪装。两个人浪费了前面好几周——因为害羞。


16.

When I opened his closet I noticed that he had left a bathing suit, a pair of underwear, his chinos, and a clean shirt on a few hangers. I recognized the shirt. Billowy. And I recognized the suit. Red. This for when he'd go swimming one last time this morning.

"I must tell you about this bathing suit," I said when I closed his closet door.

"Tell me what?"

"I'll tell you on the train."

But I told him all the same. "Just promise to let me keep it after you're gone."

"That's all?"

"Well, wear it a lot today—and don't swim in it."

"Sick and twisted."

"Sick and twisted and very, very sad."

"I've never seen you like this."

"I want Billowy too. And the espadrilles. And the sunglasses. And you."

当我打开他的衣橱,我注意到他遗落了一件泳裤、一条内裤,他的斜纹布裤,还有一件挂在衣架上干净的衬衫。我认识那件衬衫,大波浪。我也认得那条泳裤,红色的。今天早晨他最后一次穿着去游泳。

“我得告诉你关于这条泳裤的事儿。”关上衣橱,我对他说道。

“什么?”

“火车上再告诉你。”

但我说了跟他一样的话,“答应我,你走后,要把它留给我。”

“就这样?”

“嗯……我要你多穿它几天,但是别穿着它去游泳。”

“病态又邪恶。”

“病态,邪恶,和很多、很多悲伤。”

“我从没见你这样子过。”

“我还想要大波浪,以及那双帆布便鞋,和那对太阳镜。和你。”

P.S.第二部分的尾声,两人即将前往罗马度过最后的三天相处时光。


17.

On the train I told him about the day we thought he'd drowned and how I was determined to ask my father to round up as many fishermen as he could to go look for him, and when they found him, to light a pyre on our shore, while I grabbed Mafalda's knife from the kitchen and ripped out his heart, because that heart and his shirt were all I'd ever have to show for my life. A heart and a shirt. His heart wrapped in a damp shirt—like Anchise's fish.

火车上,我告诉他,当我们以为他溺水的那天,我是怎样请求我的父亲尽其所能地去聚集渔夫来寻找他,那么当发现他的时候,我们将在沿岸燃起柴火,我会拿着从厨房里带来的玛法尔达的刀,剖出他的心脏。因为这颗心和他的衬衫,将是我此生仅有的留存品。一颗心和一件衬衫。他的心包裹在浸湿的衬衫里——就像是安卡斯的鱼。


完!

黑崎鬼月
看到了吧,这篇影评就是原罪。...

看到了吧,这篇影评就是原罪。


丑陋的社会嘴脸,被撕开伤疤知道疼了啊,那你为何又对同性这种弱势群体这么残忍呢?

看到了吧,这篇影评就是原罪。


丑陋的社会嘴脸,被撕开伤疤知道疼了啊,那你为何又对同性这种弱势群体这么残忍呢?

黑崎鬼月
可笑吧,就加了个影评长文,就又...

可笑吧,就加了个影评长文,就又被禁了。恶心。今天就跟你杠了。

可笑吧,就加了个影评长文,就又被禁了。恶心。今天就跟你杠了。

一二度

电影 《男孩》 荷兰

北欧小清新影片,青春期的男孩,田径场上的奔跑,荷尔蒙的流动,暧昧的试探,性向的疑惑……

水中游弋,试探的吻扰乱心弦,不敢面对自己,可是在一起的时光总是特别美好,情不自禁吻住他的脖子,能够得到回应真是太好了,发生矛盾时扯住帽衫绳子的别扭那么可爱,能够认清自己,一起走向未来真是太棒了。

少年的初恋与暧昧,有一种让人不停踢被子的美好。

电影 《男孩》 荷兰

北欧小清新影片,青春期的男孩,田径场上的奔跑,荷尔蒙的流动,暧昧的试探,性向的疑惑……

水中游弋,试探的吻扰乱心弦,不敢面对自己,可是在一起的时光总是特别美好,情不自禁吻住他的脖子,能够得到回应真是太好了,发生矛盾时扯住帽衫绳子的别扭那么可爱,能够认清自己,一起走向未来真是太棒了。

少年的初恋与暧昧,有一种让人不停踢被子的美好。

王折鱼


【春光乍泄】 又名【Happy Together】影评

      这是一部由张国荣与梁朝伟主演的同志题材电影,上映于1997年。影片镜头写意随性,开场一片黑白肉欲,背景乐低沉但不突兀,是一贯的王家卫的风格。

       这部影片并没有出现过多对于同性恋情的探讨和评判,只是以一种仿佛大家都习以为常的方式,讲述了一对情侣为了寻找伊瓜苏瀑布游身异国转而陷入困境后的经历。

       天真任性的何宝荣和略显沉默木讷的黎耀辉,两人因为一盏二手市场买的旧台灯毅然踏上南美之旅。两人性格差...


【春光乍泄】 又名【Happy Together】影评

      这是一部由张国荣与梁朝伟主演的同志题材电影,上映于1997年。影片镜头写意随性,开场一片黑白肉欲,背景乐低沉但不突兀,是一贯的王家卫的风格。

       这部影片并没有出现过多对于同性恋情的探讨和评判,只是以一种仿佛大家都习以为常的方式,讲述了一对情侣为了寻找伊瓜苏瀑布游身异国转而陷入困境后的经历。

       天真任性的何宝荣和略显沉默木讷的黎耀辉,两人因为一盏二手市场买的旧台灯毅然踏上南美之旅。两人性格差异和这场说走就走的草率旅行已经暗示了他们一路的离离散散。

       其实剧中出现的问题在大多数情侣身上也会发生,何宝荣在放纵和堕落后又回到黎耀辉身边,是因为他知道只有黎耀辉不会抛弃他。黎耀辉把何宝荣的护照藏起来是知道要走的人留不住,但还是忍不住去争取。身在一段感情中的人总是残酷又矛盾的,像刺猬一样尽管会知道会被伤害还是忍不住想要拥抱。

       最后黎耀辉和何宝荣也没能一起去看成伊瓜苏瀑布,印在台灯上的光影流转飞流而下也只倒映在了路人眼中。

         又或者是另一段理不清的开始。

【王折鱼的影评系列!】   VOL 4

       希望所有以纠结的感情开头的故事,结局都不会是乱七八糟的眼泪和伤心事结束。最温柔的想念混在窗口的风里,然后互道再见。

王折鱼

【我自己的爱达荷】/【不羁的天空】

    这部影片上映于1991年,故事围绕波特兰的两个男妓展开,电影整体画面有时色彩明亮有时低沉,反差常常出现在主角半明半暗的脸上。镜头丰富色调鲜艳,人物表演由夸张的动作和粗鄙的语言来抒发背后情感,情节略微荒诞却又耐人寻味。
    主人公麦可是个失足少年,他经常会无故昏厥然后梦见爱达荷的某条公路,日常活动就是整天无所事事的醒来,闲荡,昏倒,为了钱出卖自己的身体。这样的生活对麦可来说并不会有任何负罪感和担忧,也许他从未想到过关于眼前人生之外的东西。相比于麦可的为了生存做男妓,他的朋友史考特则纯粹是出...

【我自己的爱达荷】/【不羁的天空】

    这部影片上映于1991年,故事围绕波特兰的两个男妓展开,电影整体画面有时色彩明亮有时低沉,反差常常出现在主角半明半暗的脸上。镜头丰富色调鲜艳,人物表演由夸张的动作和粗鄙的语言来抒发背后情感,情节略微荒诞却又耐人寻味。
    主人公麦可是个失足少年,他经常会无故昏厥然后梦见爱达荷的某条公路,日常活动就是整天无所事事的醒来,闲荡,昏倒,为了钱出卖自己的身体。这样的生活对麦可来说并不会有任何负罪感和担忧,也许他从未想到过关于眼前人生之外的东西。相比于麦可的为了生存做男妓,他的朋友史考特则纯粹是出于反叛精神抵抗他那个有钱的市长父亲而自甘堕落的和底层的社会混混们结交,甚至把一个贼头子认做心灵导师,简直就是怎么任性怎么作。
    二人在这种社会夹层中生存的如鱼得水,可谁都知道这种日子并不会长久,史考特是要回去继承家产的,麦可却还是个连自己母亲都找不到的孤儿。终于他们在骗到一大笔钱之后准备动身去那条麦可梦中的公路看一看能不能打听到有关麦可记忆中总出现的那个女人。辗转多方,麦可在途中表达了对史考特的情意——超出朋友上升到了情人间的渴求。但身为男妓的史考特却并不承认两个男人能相爱,这段感情对于麦可来说是无疾而终的。史考特与麦可在意大利分离,他带走了一个情窦初开的意大利少女回到波特兰并继承了他父亲的大笔财产,成功转变成上流社会的精英人士。而麦可还是一名低等的男妓,每天颠沛流离在同一条公路上,只是这一次他终于被别人带走了。
    麦可这个角色其实是很典型的底层群众化身,他衣着破旧食不果腹,干着低微的工作却想不到改变的方法。但同时他又强迫自己以昏厥的方式回到爱达荷的公路上,爱达荷是他的精神天堂,是他一生都在渴望追求的短暂的幸福时光,是属于他一个人的永恒的“路”。即使那里没有他的母亲也没有了童年的无忧无虑,但他依然将那里看做是逃避外界压力的乌托邦。
    史考特就更好理解了,他好像有着全世界都在他的掌心打转似的底气。从始至终都在娱乐自身等待去继承家产,而现在所做的不过是和他有钱的爹在置气。所以当那个青涩的意大利少女出现时,他毫不犹豫的丢下了麦可回到了波特兰。他知道自己的放纵应该要结束了,他体验过了这些在他看来仅仅只是有趣的叛道惊离于是便回到了原本属于自己的世界,仅此而已。
    影片的结尾是麦可又一次混到在爱达荷的公路上,两个开货车的人顺走了他的背包和鞋子,但是没一会儿一辆粉红的轿车停下将他带走了。这也许是在暗示:生活在给你打击强行剥离你的情感没收你的一切之后,也许又会让你在走投无路时遇见新的生机。

【尤加绿的影评系列!】 VOL 3
    也许所有绝路都能逢生,所有柳暗都见花明。生活在跟你开了这样那样的玩笑之后依然会将崭新的人生赠送给你。

王折鱼

《请以你的名字呼唤我》影评

       本片由安德烈·艾席蒙的同名小说改编,讲述了一个17岁意大利少年的初恋故事。由意大利导演卢卡·瓜达格尼诺执导,荣获第90届奥斯卡金像奖最佳改编剧本奖,是小众文艺类爱情片中的精品。

       故事发生在夏天,一切浓烈的爱意和阳光下美好的色彩轮廓都快要溢出屏幕,17岁的少年身体柔软纤细,远道而来高大的美国男人暂住他家,二人就在轻柔舒缓的钢琴曲中展开一段朦胧暧昧的夏日恋情。互生爱慕却都小心翼翼的打着暗语,一...

《请以你的名字呼唤我》影评

       本片由安德烈·艾席蒙的同名小说改编,讲述了一个17岁意大利少年的初恋故事。由意大利导演卢卡·瓜达格尼诺执导,荣获第90届奥斯卡金像奖最佳改编剧本奖,是小众文艺类爱情片中的精品。

       故事发生在夏天,一切浓烈的爱意和阳光下美好的色彩轮廓都快要溢出屏幕,17岁的少年身体柔软纤细,远道而来高大的美国男人暂住他家,二人就在轻柔舒缓的钢琴曲中展开一段朦胧暧昧的夏日恋情。互生爱慕却都小心翼翼的打着暗语,一次又一次的交锋过后终于明白各自心意,灵肉结合注定是鱼水之欢。当然最后的离别总会来临,起伏了一整个夏天的少年心事都压抑进长冬的哭声里,这段夏日爱恋只能在记忆中呢喃着呼唤他的名字。

      电影以一个长镜头结束,17岁的埃利奥坐着壁炉前一直默默的掉眼泪,几分钟前钟前他听到了奥利弗的来电,遥远的喜讯传到他的耳边变得苍白又冷酷——奥利弗要订婚了,埃利奥的初恋彻底宣告结束。有关于1983夏天的一切美好都像是梦境,再也没办法回去了。

        这部影片运用了大量音乐插曲暗示主人公情绪的转变和故事发展的背景。电影色调清新自然,取景就在主人公居住的小镇,熟悉的人物和草地水池都让人放松。大片青春的肉体更是和夏日相得益彰。而电影名“Call me by your name”则是情人间的床底呓语,寓意情人间的亲密无间融入骨血般的浓烈情感。

       在我看来,爱情是不应该是被性别,年龄,时间这些外在因素束缚的,就像有些人说讨厌Lolita,有些人瞧不起同性恋。但是爱情这种多巴胺产生了就是产生了,人类在荷尔蒙的控制下会做出什么都不奇怪,实在无需用那些少见多怪的眼光去看待一些不被主流接受的爱情。
     
         在埃利奥和他父亲的谈话中,父亲教导他不应该丢失掉这些美好的但却给人带来伤痛的感情,他说“命运会以最狡猾的方式找到我们的软肋。”痛苦和快乐一样都是珍贵的人生经历,一时的受伤不应该成为避世的理由,否则这样对在感情中投入付出的你来说也太不公平了。
   
         埃利奥的父亲也曾有过一段年少遗憾的感情,虽然在现在看来难以忘怀,但也就这么平平淡淡的留在了记忆深处。这让我想起了《地下室里的萨德》一书。那个年代的同性恋情还没有受到现代社会这样的鄙弃和打击,于是人们还可以平静的谈论自己的感情经历而不带任何偏见色彩。是的,只是一段感情而已,实在无需纠结其他多过互相给予安慰的之外的因素。
      
         影片中主角细腻的情感被演员们精湛的演技展现的淋漓尽致。经典的长镜头片段——二人隔着一战雕像埃利奥喃喃的说“Because I want you to know”重复了三遍,那一瞬间将他对奥利弗的感情中懵懂但是又希望得到的犹豫传达给了观众。以及埃利奥玩弄那颗杏子的时候,对性的明示是想要把这颗杏子当做奥利弗,被发现且调戏之后窘迫到哭泣,其实是埃利奥对自己的贬低使得他情绪失控。他与奥利弗的感情在世人看来是“病态且不健康”的。无论是在年龄还是性别上都不会被大众所认可,但他仍然遵循内心深处的情感指引,和奥利弗开始了这场让他永生难忘的短暂初恋。

        最后一场哭戏的时候,埃利奥只是默不作声坐在壁炉前,暗自哀悼离自己远去的那个夏天和那段纯粹的感情。脆弱又敏感的少年心性由这些看似零碎的片段一一展现在观众面前,期间细节该要演员揣摩斟酌良久才能呈现在观众面前,导演及编剧对电影结构的细致把控到巅峰,这些才是这部影片口碑过硬的原因。
        试问,谁不会想要将自己纯粹美好的初恋带入发生在如此青春洋溢的夏天呢?









【王折鱼的影评系列】  VOL 1

给大家来一段中国式的17岁爱恋吧——

   最开始的疯言疯语和满口骚话其实还没有多认真,一旦开始别别扭扭不敢看他甚至反复斟酌短信句号要不要加的时候那就真的陷进去了。你会说你也不知道自己是那一刻爱上一个人,可能是看见天上那朵忽明忽暗的云,可能是看见街角长相奇怪的行道树,可能是喝到了一杯很酸很酸的柠檬水,也可能只是他笑眯眯的对你打了个招呼。然后你就掉进一个绮丽的蝴蝶洞里,开始了一场浩浩荡荡的暗恋。学生时代最美好的事情莫过于此,因为一个人而心潮跌宕,哪怕在最低谷的时候听见他对着谁说了一句什么话,就单单是那个在你脑子里千回百转的声音,都能让你满血复活,比大力水手的菠菜和超级玛丽的蘑菇还管用。

Rosalind
#单身男子#他走后的不止第一天...

#单身男子#

他走后的不止第一天

我还没有走出来。

我试图追逐他的脚步

却不知他的吻早已触及我的脸

希望与死亡

原来是……先到来


#单身男子#

他走后的不止第一天

我还没有走出来。

我试图追逐他的脚步

却不知他的吻早已触及我的脸

希望与死亡

原来是……先到来


淮准Leslie

【CMBYN-中英对照】自原著探寻电影背后的暗潮汹涌

*对CMBYN的喜爱令我为之神魂颠倒,在看完影片后辄购买了它的中英两本书。原著是艾里奥视角,大部分由他的心理活动构成,通过原著,我们可以了解到影片几个意味深长的镜头后面,艾里奥当时到底在想些什么?他的感情何时发生?又是如何地在发展?小说和电影实在都具有各自的魅力。


*为了防止一些纠纷,以下中文部分由我本人自译。由于水平有限,在此先行请求谅解。有耐心的读者不妨直接阅读英文原文,想必能更为贴近最真实的感觉。欢迎互相交流,接受批评,但不接受抨击(嘤嘤)。


原著分为四部分,以下摘自第一部分“If Not Later,When?(回头不试,更待何时?) ”


1.

Better...

*对CMBYN的喜爱令我为之神魂颠倒,在看完影片后辄购买了它的中英两本书。原著是艾里奥视角,大部分由他的心理活动构成,通过原著,我们可以了解到影片几个意味深长的镜头后面,艾里奥当时到底在想些什么?他的感情何时发生?又是如何地在发展?小说和电影实在都具有各自的魅力。


*为了防止一些纠纷,以下中文部分由我本人自译。由于水平有限,在此先行请求谅解。有耐心的读者不妨直接阅读英文原文,想必能更为贴近最真实的感觉。欢迎互相交流,接受批评,但不接受抨击(嘤嘤)。


原著分为四部分,以下摘自第一部分“If Not Later,When?(回头不试,更待何时?) ”


1.

Better stay away from him,I thought.  To think that I had almost fallen for the skin of his hands, his chest, his feet that had never touched a rough surface in their existence—and his eyes, which,when their other,kinder gaze fell on you,came like the miracle of the Resurrection.  You could never stare long enough but needed to keep staring to find out why you couldn't.

最好离他远一点儿,我想。我几乎沦陷于他的手,他的胸膛,他生来从未接触过粗糙表面的脚——还有他的眼睛。当他的视线用另一种和善些的方式落到你身上,仿佛是耶稣复活般的奇迹。你看再久也不会觉得腻,反而会一直盯着看,好知道为什么你无法移开目光。

P.S.奥利弗初来乍到,艾里奥立刻便被他吸引了。在两人还未熟悉对方的时候,首先吸引艾里奥的是他对奥利弗身体上的贪求。文中多次出现艾里奥眼中、关于奥利弗肉体的美妙描写,让我想起莎翁曾写过:少年之爱在于眼,不在心。


2.

I knew exactly what phrase in the piece must have stirred him the first time,and each time I played it, I was sending it to him as a little gift, because it was really dedicated to him,,as a token of something very beautiful in me that would take no genius to figure out and that urged me to throw in an extended cadenza.  Just for him.

We were—and he must have recognized the signs long before I did—flirting.

一开始,我就很清楚是曲子里的哪个片段撩动了他。每当我弹奏起那一片段,都当做是一份送给他的小礼物,因为那正是献给他的。那代表着我美丽的象征,不必花费气力就能领会,它激励我为此加入长长的华彩乐章。只为了他。

我们在——想必他早在我之前就已看出端倪——调情。

P.S.此段系描写影片中的弹琴片段,俩人其实在调情2333。


3.

Fire like fear,like panic,like one more minute of this and I'll die if he doesn't knock at my door,but I'd sooner he never knock than knock now.  I had learned to leave my French windows ajar,and I'd lie on my bed wearing only my bathing suit,my entire body on fire.  Fire like a pleading that says, Please, please, tell me I'm wrong, tell me I've imagined all this, because it can't possibly be true for you as well, and if it's true for you too, then you're the crudest man alive. 

那火是害怕,是恐惧,是现下的每一分钟——如果他再不来敲我的房门,我想我会煎熬至死。但我宁愿他永远别来,也好过他现在来。我将窗子敞开,躺在床上,浑身只着一件泳裤,仿佛全身都在燃烧。那火焰乞求着,说,求求你,拜托了,告诉我我错了,告诉我一切都只是想象,因为它对你来说也未必真实。如果它对你而言同样真实,那你简直是世界上最残酷的人。

 

This,the afternoon he did finally walk into my room without knocking as if summoned by my prayers and asked how come I wasn't with the others at the beach, and all I could think of saying, though I couldn't bring myself to say it, was, To be with you.  To be with you, Oliver.  With or without my bathing suit.  To be with you on my bed. In your bed.  Which is my bed during the other months of the year. Do with me what you want.  Take me. 

那个下午,他走进我的房间,没有敲门,就好像他终于听见了我的祈求似的。他问我为什么不和其他人一起去海边,而我想说,尽管我无力说出口:我只想和你待在一起。和你在一起,奥利弗。穿不穿泳裤都好。我想和你在一起,在我的床上,在你的床上,在那张一年里其他月份属于我的床上。跟我做你想做的事情。占有我。

P.S.这一段和上面一段连在一起。即电影中,艾里奥在房里受着心灵和身体上双重的相思之苦,他把手伸进了泳裤里……然后奥利弗突然进来了。


4.

What I hoped he hadn't noticed in my overreaction to his grip was something else. Before shirking off his arm, I knew I had yielded to his hand and had almost leaned into it, as if to sa——as I'd heard adults so often say when someone happened to massage their shoulders while passing behind the——Don't stop. Had he noticed I was ready not just to yield but to mold into his body?

我希望他没有从我挣脱他触碰的过度反应中发现什么。在躲开他的手臂之前,我知道我已经屈服于他的抚摸,并且几乎迷恋于此,好像要说——我曾经常听见成年人们在某个人经过他们身后,为他们按摩肩膀时说的那样——别停下。他注意到我已经准备好臣服于他,想要与他合为一体了吗?

P.S.此段系奥利弗为艾里奥试探性按摩肩膀时,艾里奥的心理状态。翻译最后一句的时候真的好害羞啊……


5.

But it was the gold necklace and the Star of David with a golden mezuzah on his neck that told me here was something more compelling than anything I wanted from him, for it bound us and reminded me that, while everything else conspired to make us the two most dissimilar beings, this at least transcended all differences.

是他脖子上有着金门柱圣卷的大卫之星项链告诉我,他身上有比我对他的欲望更吸引我的东西,它把我们联结在一起,提醒着我,即使其他的一切都在论证我们是最不相似的个体,至少这一点已足以超越所有差异。

P.S.此段系艾里奥对奥利弗佩戴大卫之星的心理描写。出自同源的归属感让艾里奥的内心彻底沦陷。

 

6.

What baffled me was that he didn't seem to care or notice that I wore one too. Just as he probably didn't care or notice each time my eyes wandered along his bathing suit.

让我困惑的是他似乎完全不关心或是不在意我也佩戴了一个大卫之星。就好像他也不关心或是没注意到我在他泳裤上频频流连的眼神。

P.S.哈哈哈哈哈哈。


7.

"Elio."

"Yes?"

“艾里奥?”

“嗯?”

 

"What are you doing?" 

"Reading." 

"No, you're not." 

"Thinking, then." 

"About?"

“你在做什么?”

“读书。”

“不,你才没有。”

“那么,是在思考。”

“思考什么?”

 

I was dying to tell him. 

"Private," I replied. 

"So you won't tell me?" 

"So I won't tell you."

"So he won't tell me," he repeated, pensively, as if explaining to someone about me.

我多么渴望能够告诉他。

“私事。”我答道。

“所以你不会告诉我啰?”

“所以我不会告诉你。”

“所以他不会告诉我,”他重复道,沉思一般,仿佛在向某人解释关于我的事。

 

How I loved the way he repeated what I myself had just repeated. It made me think of a caress, or of a gesture, which happens to be totally accidental the first time but becomes intentional the second time and more so yet the third. 

我多么喜欢他重复我刚刚重复过的话。那让我想到一个爱抚,或是一个姿势,第一次是偶然发生,第二次则有意为之,接着又会发生第三次。

P.S.这段对话在电影中有体现,原来艾里奥回答“私事”时内心活动这么丰富23333。


8.

No, two would do, he replied, and, turning to my parents, added, "I know myself. If I have three, I'll have a fourth, and more." I had never heard someone his age say, I know myself. It intimidated me.

不必了,两个就好,他答道。然后他转向我的父母,说,“我了解我自己。如果我吃了第三个,我就会吃第四个,甚至更多。”我从未听过他这个年纪的人会说,“我了解我自己”,我有点儿被吓到了。

P.S.奥利弗是矛盾的,我认为鸡蛋是一个象征,这代表着,一方面奥利弗想要更多地满足自己的欲望,一方面他又想要克制自己,就像他对艾里奥的心理。


9.

"It's a long story, so bear with me, Pro." Suddenly Oliver had become serious. "Many Latin words are derived from the Greek. In the case of 'apricot,' however, it's the other way around; the Greek takes over from Latin. The Latin word was praecoquum, from pre-coquere, pre-cook, to ripen early, as in 'precocious,' meaning premature."

“说来话长,请容忍我一会儿,教授。”奥利弗忽然变得严肃起来,“很多拉丁文都来自希腊语,然而至于‘apricot’,它是另一回事,是希腊语从拉丁语中吸收而来。拉丁语中的‘praecoquum’,来自‘pre-coquere’,也就是‘pre-cook’,早熟的意思,‘precocious’是它的同义词,代表着早熟。”


My mother, unable to resist his charm, reached out to him and tousled his hair and said, "Che muvi star!"

"He is right, there is no denying it," said my father under his breath, as though mimicking the part of a cowered Galileo forced to mutter the truth to himself.

"Courtesy of Philology 101," said Oliver.

All I kept thinking of was apricock precock, precock apricock.

我的妈妈,完全无法抵御他的魅力,她伸手摸了摸他的头发,说,“大明星!”

“他是对的,无法否认。”我父亲压低嗓音说,就像是在模仿畏畏缩缩的伽利略嘟囔着只敢对自己说出真理的样子。

“这还得感谢哲学101。(百度了一下好像是本书名……不太了解qaq)”奥利弗说。

而我脑子里只萦绕着性器,早熟的杏器。

P.S.杏-apricot,性器-cock,作者把杏的词尾“cot”换成了“cock”。名场面啊名场面。艾里奥真的是个老司机……


10.

"What's it to you anyway?" he asked.

“这跟你到底有什么关系?”奥利弗问。

I described her naked body, which I'd seen two years before. I wanted him aroused. It didn't matter what he desired so long as he was aroused.

我描述起奇利亚的裸体,我曾在两年之前见过。我希望他被挑起欲望,由什么来挑逗起他并不重要。

 

"Are you trying to make me like her?"

"What would the harm be in that?"

"No harm. Except I like to go it alone, if you don't mind."

“你想让我喜欢上她?”

“有什么不好的呢?”

“没什么不好。但我更愿意自己来,如果你不介意的话。”

 

It took me a while to understand what I was really after. Not just to get him aroused in my presence, or to make him need me, but in urging him to speak about her behind her back, I'd turn Chiara into the object of man-to-man gossip. It would allow us to warm up to one another through her, to bridge the gap between us by admitting we were drawn to the same woman.

我花了一段时间才明白是什么促使我这样做。不仅仅是想让他在我面前被挑起欲望,或是让他需要我,而是要让他背着奇利亚谈论她,我把奇利亚当成维系男人与男人话题的谈资,通过她我们会热络起来,承认被同一个女性吸引将在我们之间建立起桥梁。

P.S.“邪恶”的艾里奥噢。



以上片段在电影中均有体现。

以下我将另摘录一些艾里奥的心理活动,它们无法在电影中表现出来,但了解它们的过程也同样很有意思。



1.

They are embossed on every song that was a hit that summer, in every novel I read during and after his stay, on anything from the smell of rosemary on hot days to the frantic rattle of the cicadas in the afternoon—smells and sounds I'd grown up with and known every year of my life until then but that had suddenly turned on me and acquired an inflection forever colored by the events of that summer.

这些感觉凸显于那个夏天每一首流行歌曲里,在他寄宿期间与离开之后我读的每一本小说里,在炎炎烈日的迷迭香味里,以及午后时分蝉鸣发狂似的鸣叫里——我本该十分熟悉这些伴随我年年成长的气味和声音,直到那时,我突然感到,那个夏天所发生的一切,被永远赋予了全新的色彩。

P.S.这段就是类似于“我的世界因你而绚烂”啦,水平所限,意译为主,轻喷QAQ。


2.

I had been perfectly willing to brand him as difficult and unapproachable and have nothing more to do with him. Two words from him, and I had seen my pouting apathy change into I'll play anything for you till you ask me to stop, till it's time for lunch, till the skin on my fingers wears off layer after layer, because I like doing things for you, will do anything for you, just say the word.

我实在愿意给他贴上难以相处、不好接近的标签,再也不为他做任何事。可仅仅只要他的只言片语,我就知道我冷淡的臭脸会转变成我愿意为你弹奏一切,直至你叫我停下,直至午餐时间到来,直至我手指的皮肤一层一层地剥落,因为我喜欢为你做事儿,也愿意为你做任何事,只要你开口。

P.S.艾里奥曾抱怨过奥利弗“Later”的粗鲁,但在抱怨之下,其实隐藏的是一颗泥足深陷的心。


3.

Was he my home, then, my homecoming? You are my homecoming. When I'm with you and we're well together, there is nothing more I want. You make me like who I am, who I become when you're with me, Oliver. If there is any truth in the world, it lies when I'm with you, and if I find the courage to speak my truth to you one day, remind me to light a candle in thanksgiving at every altar in Rome.

他是我的故乡,我的归宿吗?你是我的归宿。当你在我身边,当我们在一起,我别无所求。是你让我成为如今的我,这个与你同在的我,奥利弗。如果这个世上存在真实,它存在于我和你在一起的时候。如果有一天我鼓起勇气,对你说出了我真实的心意,请提醒我,要在感恩节时为罗马的每一处圣坛点燃烛光。

P.S.“归宿”这个词,只是打字打出来都觉得温柔极了。


4.

Don't let him be someone else when he's away. Don't let him be someone I've never seen before. Don't let him have a life other than the life I know he has with us, with me. 

Don't let me lose him.

I knew I had no hold on him, nothing to offer, nothing to lure him by.

I was nothing.

Just a kid.

当他不在我身边时,别教他变成另一个人。别让他变成我全然陌生的人。除了他和我们、和我在一起时的人生之外,别让他拥有其他的人生。

别让我失去他。

我知道我无法掌控他,没什么能给他,也没什么能吸引到他。

我什么也不是。

仅仅是个孩子。


5.

I wanted him gone from our home so as to be done with him.

I wanted him dead too, so that if I couldn't stop thinking about him and worrying about when would be the next time I'd see him, at least his death would put an end to it. I wanted to kill him myself, even, so as to let him know how much his mere existence had come to bother me.

我想要他离开,好让我和他有个了断。

我也想让他死亡,那么我便不必再去想他,也不用担心什么时候能再见到他,他的死亡会让这一切终结。我甚至想亲手杀掉他,好让他知道,仅仅只是他的存在,已经多么困扰到我。

P.S.美味的病娇啊23333。


6.

If I didn't kill him, then I'd cripple him for life, so that he'd be with us in a wheelchair and never go back to the States. If he were in a wheelchair, I would always know where he was, and he'd be easy to find. I would feel superior to him and become his master, now that he was crippled.

如果我没有杀掉他,那么我想致他终生残废,这样他就能待在轮椅上和我们一块儿,永远不回美国。当他身陷轮椅,我就能轻易知道他在哪儿,然后找到他。由于他已残疾,我将凌驾于他之上,我会成为他的主人。

P.S.病娇again,有着中二“主人梦”的艾里奥。


7.

There is a law somewhere that says that when one person is thoroughly smitten with the other, the other must unavoidably be smitten as well. Amor ch'a nulVamato amar perdona. Love, which exempts no one who's loved from loving, Francesca's words in the Inferno. Just wait and be hopeful. I was hopeful, though perhaps this was what I had wanted all along. To wait forever.

我记得在哪儿听过一个法则:当A完全迷恋B的时候,B必定无可避免地也爱上了A。Amorch' anull' amatoamar perdona 。“爱,让每一个被爱的人无可豁免地也要去爱”,这是弗兰西斯卡在《地狱篇》里说的话。耐心等待、怀着希望。我充满希望,或许这就是我一直渴望的。我会永恒等待。

P.S.这一段是文中经典语句,翻译主要出自参考,略加改动。



结尾说一点感想。

艾里奥的爱萌发于情欲,热烈但是躁动,而且不得不说,非常幼稚。却又因同为犹太人的归属感而得到了爱的宁静,我倾向他的爱情是灵与肉的统一。至于奥利弗,书中的他更为矛盾和隐晦,锤子的演绎将奥利弗变得温柔了许多,也让电影中的情感发展没那么揪心。

表白锤子和甜茶><!让我爱上了那个意大利的夏天。


如果有足够人看的话,我会加油做完余下的二三四part……毕竟这个工程量真的有点艰巨QAQ

Thanks for reading.

淮准Leslie

“唯一能给予人生以价值的,是为数不多的时候,能真正的和另一个人心灵相契。”

“唯一能给予人生以价值的,是为数不多的时候,能真正的和另一个人心灵相契。”


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