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【试译】保罗·策兰
mAcaRiA·舞 2019-07-24

原诗(德语)链接:https://www.celan-projekt.de/todesfuge-deutsch.html

参考英语翻译:

译文(Jerome Rothenberg)https://poets.org/poem/death-fugue

译文(John Felstiner)https://mason.gmu.edu/~lsmithg/deathfugue.html


第一次翻篇幅长一点并且主题比较沉重的诗,而且还是在英译的基础上再翻译,因此这说到底只是个可能不太成功的试验。有关纳粹集中营的作品太多了,保罗策兰这首Todesfuge(death fugue,死之赋格)反倒很特别。我不会德语,但是仅仅从英译文就能看出来它的音乐性,在脑内无限延伸交迭重复的咒语,最终占据了整个意识。

我一开始看John Felstiner的英译文,觉得太有意思了,所以先把它放上来:


Death Fugue


John Felstiner


Black milk of daybreak we drink it at evening

we drink it at midday and morning we drink it at night

we drink and we drink

we shovel a grave in the air there you won't lie too cramped


A man lives in the house he plays with his vipers he writes

he writes when it grows dark to Deutschland your golden hair Marguerite
he writes it and steps out of doors and the stars are all sparkling

he whistles his hounds to come close

he whistles his Jews into rows has them shovel a grave in the ground

he orders us strike up and play for the dance


Black milk of daybreak we drink you at night
we drink you at morning and midday we drink you at evening

we drink and we drink

A man lives in the house he plays with his vipers he writes

he writes when it grows dark to Deutschland your golden hair Margeurite

your ashen hair Shulamith we shovel a grave in the air there you won't lie too cramped


He shouts jab this earth deeper you lot there you others sing up and play
he grabs for the rod in his belt he swings it his eyes are blue
jab your spades deeper you lot there you others play on for the dancing

Black milk of daybreak we drink you at night

we drink you at midday and morning we drink you at evening

we drink and we drink

a man lives in the house your goldenes Haar Margeurite

your aschenes Haar Shulamith he plays with his vipers

He shouts play death more sweetly Death is a master from Deutschland

he shouts scrape your strings darker you'll rise then in smoke to the sky

you'll have a grave then in the clouds there you won't lie too cramped

Black milk of daybreak we drink you at night
we drink you at midday Death is a master aus Deutschland
we drink you at evening and morning we drink and we drink
this Death is ein Meister aus Deutschland his eye it is blue
he shoots you with shot made of lead shoots you level and true
a man lives in the house your goldenes Haar Margarete
he looses his hounds on us grants us a grave in the air
he plays with his vipers and daydreams
der Tod is ein Meister aus Deutschland
dein goldenes Haar Margarete
dein aschenes Haar Shulamith

网上可以找到很多这首诗的英译文,但这篇的特别之处,想必也很容易看出来,就是英德两种语言的交织。德语在这首诗中的存在就像是逐渐从一个细胞扩散至全身的病毒。

关于Black Milk, 可以看Felstiner那个网址里关于black milk的诠释:

https://mason.gmu.edu/~lsmithg/black.html

 

被关押的人们在清晨醒来时最能感到痛苦。他们一醒来,只能吸吮污黑的雪水解渴,而纯白的雪已沾满了焚尸炉的灰烬。他们吃,他们喝,他们在此活着,无一物不被同胞的骨灰浸透。

关于其他的背景知识,可以直接点上面英译文中的注释链接。


自以为译成中文,很大程度上表达不出那种绝望——或者说,这首诗本身字面上更多的不是绝望,而是一种失控,一种疯狂。中文表达出的疯狂或许还不那么到位,或许是因为德语和中文融得不太好。但不管怎么说,下面是我【不那么中规中矩的】的初尝试。


说到底,我在翻的过程中这么感觉,或许文字本身的表现力还不那么够,以至于我想在整页纸上直接泼上black milk。“喝”这个动作虽然重复了很多很多次,但实际上这个动作可以说是在整首诗的过程中都没有停下来过;只是线性从上往下写的文字做不到这一点。一些地方使用了数据删除的都是“喝”,可能用的还不够多。但也有可能是用这种形式:

(请无视这个内容是好些年前的黑历史)

实际上还有一点是因为它本身就是赋格,所以想试图把文字摆放成赋格多个声部,声部交替的样子(虽然看上去并没有很清晰)。看英文的话就能很清楚的看到哪些地方是重复的,重复的片段是怎么交织到新的内容里的。以及,英文的话,就可以比较舒服地keep rambling on,就像最后一段我试图用中文做的那样;反倒是中文这么堆在一块儿会看上去很累。但撇去visual unease,这本来就不是想让谁看到此处心情舒畅的,本身的目的便是心如乱麻,一种带来生理不适的毒。


暂时想到这些,我还要继续尝试。


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